Who? Me?

Way back in November I applied for an internship at a PR Firm in West Hollywood. It's one of the few internships I applied for, mainly because I want to get paid for my services. But here I am. Jobless with no source of income. So when I received a call from the firm this morning (nearly three months after I submitted my resume), I decided to accept their invitation for an interview.

The phone call couldn't have come at a better time. I was so stressed out Sunday night and I woke up at 6 a.m. Monday feeling the same way. When I saw a 310 area code pop up on my phone, I had a gut feeling that answering the call would be a life-changer (or a morning-changer at the very minimum). Before I answered, I thought, "Holy shit. This is it," and I think I'm right.

I've got nothing to lose on Friday. If the interview goes bad, going through it will still be a positive experience. If I land the internship, awesome. I'll work my ass off to turn it into a paid position. If I don't get it, at least I'll know what it's like to go in for an interview. Which will help me when the right opportunity comes along.

Just the phone call alone put some optimism back into my life.

I've hit the bottom recently in regards to how I feel about myself and my skills the past few months. When I was in school I was a cocky son-of-a bitch who knew what my strengths and weaknesses were. I also knew what it took to overcome those weaknesses and how to outperform my classmates.

But rejection emails and not getting call backs from people in the "real world" have been demoralizing. I've never had to deal with this type of rejection before and I don't know how to handle it. I even went to stores in the fuckin' mall and got turned away!

Sometimes I go through days, even weeks, where I don't want to speak to anyone. Not my friends, not my parents, not even my cousins or my brother. I stay cooped up in the apartment or at home unless I gotta get somethin' to eat. I'm embarrassed of myself, man. Plain and simple.

Today could be the beginning of the end for all that. The simple fact that I'll be interviewed based on two sheets of paper that don't even explain half of the the things I'm capable of, is an accomplishment in itself. No matter what happens on Friday, an ounce of pride will be restored inside of me.